And to be completely honest,

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 01:10:42 GMT

This is my last entry.
I no longer want to share my feelings on the internet.

Cheers to not knowing about my personal life anymore.

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 23:19:27 GMT

I'm in the midst of making some major changes in my life.

I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings in the process...BUT I need to do this to get where I need to be in my life. I don't need anything or anyone that might hinder me. I am just sick and tired of hearing everyone whine and complain while they are being insufferable know-it-alls.

You're not perfect, and I know that I'm not. I'm just doing what GOD wants me to do.

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 01:56:22 GMT

Paranoia is hunting you and all these dirty looks
They are right on cue
You're full up to the brim with that 'he said she said' trash
You exist behind your keyboard
Then you're gone in a flash

10 bucks says you don't have it in you
To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to
You are careening shamelessly into oblivion
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

I am utterly disgusted with the path you trek
As inebriated as you can get off your latest pay check
I am at a loss for words here
I hate to break this to you but being a coward is not a legitimate career

10 bucks says you don't have it in you
To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to
You are careening shamelessly into oblivion
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

We were born and raised the same way
So what gives you the right to say
(At least I'm not a liar)
We were born and raised the same way
So what gives you the right to say
At least I'm not a liar
At least I'm not a cheat
At least I don't care what these ~~god damn~~ mindless people think of me

10 bucks says you don't have it in you
To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to
You are careening shamelessly into oblivion
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

(We were born and raised the same way...)
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

(We were born and raised the same way...)
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 18:51:59 GMT

I'm happier than I have ever been.
Everything seems to be going right for me.

Let's just hope that I am not jinxing myself.

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 01:46:09 GMT

I've been sick all weekened with some unknown DISEASE.
Maybe it's syphilis.
I hope and pray that it is.

Things seem to be getting harder to deal with.
The happenings of Friday night doubled the hardship.
Saturday TRIPLED the hardships of Friday.
Gosh, everything is proving to be so difficult.
I wish that the ability to feel anything but happiness would diminish.
If it did, I would be able to sleep so much better at night.

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 23:59:26 GMT

I need to wash my hair
annnnd give you a hug.
I'm sorry.

ATTENTION

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 01:09:50 GMT

JARED LETO HAS FILLED ORLANDO BLOOM'S PREVIOUS POST OF BEING MY BOYFRIEND.

He has joined the ranks of Daniel Radcliffe in my book.
Jared Leto should be oh-so-happy of this awe-inspiring and phenomenal news.

The Nightmare Before Christmas makes me happy.

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 23:58:57 GMT

I've got nothing going for me anymore. The people that I truly care about are drifting away to what seems to be bigger and better things while I am stuck in the same damn position. I can't feel like I used to anymore. It's like sympathy was taken out of me.
None of my school friends ever ask me to hang out.
I am caring less and less about life.
I've abused the people that mean the most to me.
I'm leading myself on by thinking that things will eventually work out.
I've lost my sense of belonging among others.
I become more dissatisfied with myself as the days go on.
I can't keep up with my school work anymore.
Paranoia is overcoming the few wonderful things in my life.

I can't wait to get away from Rome. This fucking shitty ass town has proved to be nothing more than a... fucking shitty ass town. It has no life; no venues, no decent hangouts, nothing. Ican'twaittogetout.

Did someone blow out the candle in here?

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 20:39:12 GMT

I can't believe how stupid that I have sounded.
To all of you, please forgive for I have sinned.

I'm remotely pissed due to the fact that a lot of people know about what has been going on. Fuck all of the gossipy bitches at Pepperell. I will kill all of you one day.

I am sick and tired of hearing everyone complain. It's like all I am in the world is someone to let out steam on. Don't get me wrong. I love listening to everyone's problems because I would like to help out my friends. It's just that whenever I need someone to talk to about something serious, there is no one there. If there is, I know that it won't be kept just between us so I suppose that I should just announce it all on a loud speaker for everyone to hear...It seems like it would be the quicker way.

So, from now on, none of you will ever have to hear about my problems. Well, at least in person because I am sick and tired of getting treated the way that I do when I try to confide in someone.

So much for having loyal friends.

That fire was a symbol of my soul.

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 22:52:25 GMT

Yesterday was the best day that we have had in a verrry long time.
I wish that everyday was like it.
I feel winter coming, and I just can't wait.
This is going to be the best winter ever.
I am so glad that I will be sharing it with you.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 11:23:57 GMT

No one ever comments me anymore...Not that I care.

I am officially in love with the movie SE7EN.
It's awesome.

School has been awesome this week. Even though we have had a lot to do, it has just gone more smoothly.
However, I am sick and tired of taking the PSAT.
Three times in two weeks? That's bullshit.

Gosh...why do moms have to be so stupid? I'm 17 years old but I am still treated like a fucking 12 year old. I can't get "too attached" to anyone, because supposively I am not ready for that. I can't have a job during the week because "I have to focus on my studies" when in reality I sit on my ass at home and do shit for her. I really can't wait until I go to college. I bet that she will try to mess that up for me, too.
I'm sorry that I complain so much.

Sleep seems to be a good form of therapy.

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 02:49:01 GMT

I need some kind of sign as to where I'm going.
My emotions have been all over the place this last month.
I am on one end of the spectrum or the other. I'm never anywhere in between.
I'm either extremely happy or extremely sad and/or angry.
The words that I need to say never reach my lips; they stay idle in my vocal chords.
And I am so sorry that I seem to be the worst girlfriend in the world.
I'm sorry that I don't know how to conduct myself around you or others.
I just wish that I was everything that you wanted in a girl.
Someday you will realize how much I care for you, and how I love every little thing about you.

Despite all of this gkljaeiguoesgg, I can't picture being with anyone else.

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 00:41:25 GMT

Days like today make me realize how lucky I am and how I should not take things for granted.
I can't help but feel like the luckiest person in the world when you hug me and tell me that you love me.
I wish that I could be with you at all times; It would be heaven.

Who am I kidding? I have a great life.

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 14:44:56 GMT

SAT Prep is going to suck next week.
I wish that I didn't have to go...I want to sleep in.
I best be reaping the benefits from it, because it is complete bullcrap.

Thisissupposedtobeabigstrandofcusswords.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 19:58:34 GMT

IDON'TFUCKINGUNDERSTANDYOU.YOUSAYONETHINGANDDOANOTHER.IJUSTWISHTHATYOUWOULDSTICKTOYOURFUCKINGWORDANDQUITSCREWINGWITHMYMIND.I'MSICKOFTIREDOFSAYING"YOU'RERIGHT"WHENINREALITY,YOUREALLYARENOT.IAMSICKANDTIREDOFBUSTINGMYFUCKINGASSOFFTOTRYANDMAKEUSWORK,ANDYOUJUSTSITTHEREPLAYINGYOURFUCKINGGUITARANIGNORINGME,MYFEELINGS,ANDTHESITUATION.FORONCEIJUSTWANTTOHEARYOUSAYSORRYANDREALLYMEANIT.IKNOWTHATYOULOVEME...JUSTSTARTACTINGLIKEYOUDOINSTEADOFACTINGLIKEANIGNORANTFUCKHOLE.ILOVEYOU.

sorry.

The consequences of drinking and driving

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 15:59:30 GMT

I really don't know what to feel right now.
I feel like we're growing apart, and I don't know why.
We can't let it happen.

I'm really sorry about what happened...
But really. I hope that this situation will make your brother and his friends realize that what they are doing is COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY STUPID!!!!!
I just hope that you are okay; You have had a really bad week.
I love you.

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 18:02:54 GMT

What I have done this past weekend:
-Gone to guitar Center
-Lost my keys
-Ate a lot of raw chocolate chip waffles
-sat my ass at home
-Gone to Athens to see
haha. Matt Breen. Matt Breen. New kid. He plays guitar now instead of Matt. His name is Sonny something. Drummer- Anthony Brock Guitarist/Vocals- Mat Barber. Bass- BRYAN WHITEMAN!!!! Bryan Whiteman! play
-Saw suck at skateboarding
-Ate at an awesome restaurant in downtown Athens...It's called Transpetarian or something like that.
-Went to the most awesome Planet Smoothie everrrrrr.
-Sat through traffic
-Got lost

But most importantly, I got to spend time with Adam.

I wonder if some planes will fly into some towers today

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 18:11:28 GMT

Camping out Friday night presented a great time.
Who would pass up making smores, playing hide and go seek, and telling non-scary scary stories?
I'm loving life right now.

I wish that you were there.
Jesus. Why can't I see you more often???
You are one of the very few things that make me happy in life.
Days like yesterday prove that we are supposed to be together for as long as we can be.
I really liked Smokey Bones.

I'm eating ice cream birthday cake for breakfast.

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 11:12:39 GMT

I need to do my history notes before second block today.
I need to give Mrs. Lanier a pat on the back.
I need to go to bed early tonight.
I need to go to Cedartown to see family.

I ~~need~~ have to see you.

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 23:39:15 GMT

I love my friends a lot.
They mean everything to me.

So...today is my birthday.
Do I care? No.
Age and presents don't really mean anything to me.
I mean, I like presents...they are nice, but they are not what makes me happy.

I have a crappy dad.
Things were always horrible so there is no reason to think that they be better.
Oh well.
I've tried to get along with him, but I just can't.

I can't wait until Friday. Camping is going to be awesome.

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 04:15:06 GMT

Sorry for not updating in a while. I have actually started typing something in here twice, but I just don't feel like doing it and crap.
Suprisingly, everything is going quite well for me. My mother let up on my "punishment" or whatever you want to call it which is good. That being said, I got to go see Adam today which made me very very very happy. He's the best. We were going to go see that 40 Year Old Virgin movie, but we couldn't because it wouldn't be over before I had to come home. I guess that it will just have to wait until another day. I heard that it was really funny.

Emily at Ms. Hawkins happy party...even though it didn't turn out to be that happy.
Adamm!!!k jgflaett
poor deer
outside the Ford Building at Berry College.
Miss Lauren
Adam not showing his face...again.
Nancy in Advanced Choir

That's pretty much it. Goodnight to you all.

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 21:48:21 GMT

I have the absolute worst headache.
I need to get my Imitrex back pronto.

Hooray for snacks and coloring in AP history.
Boo for tons of homework
~~and for dumbass fourteen year olds who think they're the shit.~~

asj;gklj;aldk l.o.v.e.
Adam is a girl and a pretty one at that.
Ignore the boy with the X
Opera Alley
Robby and Emily...forever ago
Blurry picture of K-sno flavors
Window on Opera Alley

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 00:32:26 GMT

Good weekends make me happy.
Moms that see hickeys freak me out.
College is starting to scare me.

I don't think that I could handle being 21 hours away from you for five months at a time for the span of four years.
But baby, I know that we can do it.
We will have to.
Things will be so much better after all this school stuff is over.
That is when we will be able to spend the rest of our lives together.
It's going to be great and definitely not in Georgia.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 23:46:33 GMT

I hope that it doesn't happen to us. It just can't. I love you too much.

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 04:57:13 GMT

Wow. The last couple of days have been completely insane. It's something that I really can't talk to anybody about because I am totally ashamed. I fell into this pit full of lies and treachery and had no way to get out. I feel like such a freaking pushover... People just say stuff to me, and I basically sit there and take it. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! I never used to be like this... I can't even remember the last time that I let someone run all over me without saying something back. I also don't remember the last time that I was this forgiving. I just can't stay mad at anyone, especially him, and I guess that this is a good thing. If this had happened with anyone else, I knew that I would be out the door without looking back. He just makes it so different...I care about him so freaking much. That's why this is upsetting me as much as it does. I really wish that I could talk to somebody. But alas! No one would understand. They never do.

I hate getting put into these awkward situations. It's messed up. Oh man. I need some hot tea...It always makes me feel better.

I miss Adam so much right now. I can't wait until I get to see him again. He is truly amazing. Ahh... He's more than I could ever hope or dream of having. I am the luckiest girl in the world....Well, in that aspect at least. Other than having Adam, my life completely sucks.